PARODY: Walz and Harris Talk Education

Editor's Note

Though the agenda of destructive leftists like Tim Walz and Kamala Harris is sometimes so outrageous as to be laughable, it is a very real danger aimed at replacing the American way of life with a new, revolutionary regime. In this imagined conversation, Harris and Walz discuss their plans as they stumble along the blurred line between the amusing and the deadly.

Walz: Did you see the video where Brian Lozenski says he wants to destroy America?

Kamala: Who is Brian Lozenski?

Walz: He’s my top education advisor.

Kamala: He looks like a moron.

Walz: Of course he looks like a moron. Whenever I hire a radical, I always make sure he looks like a moron. That way I always have cover.

Kamala: Is he a real moron, or does he just look like a moron?

Walz: I really can’t say.

Kamala: What’s he doing in your education department?

Walz: He heads a special 500-person division that teaches about the need for tampons in boys’ bathrooms and condoms in girls’ bathrooms.

Kamala: Why so many people?

Walz: There are lots of bathrooms in Minnesota. 

Kamala: Do parents approve? 

Walz: I just tell them that the ability of people to change sex is part of American exceptionalism. That always wins over the conservatives. But that’s not all Lozenski does. His main job is to teach that America is racist to the core. Because if we can convince them of that then they will allow us to take over the country.

Kamala: Tim, I know that. That was my idea in the first place. 

Walz: You know Kamala, I’ve been wondering what will happen after America is overthrown.

Kamala: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. First, we gotta educate the kids at a very young age before their parents brainwash them.

Walz: We are on it. Listen to this. A Kindergartener must “identify examples of ethnicity, equality, liberation and systems of power” and “use those examples to construct meanings for those terms.”

Kamala: With those requirements, I might still be in kindergarten. 

Walz: And that’s just in kindergarten. You should see what they learn in high school.

High-school students are told to “develop an analysis of racial capitalism” and “anti-Blackness” and are taught to view themselves as members of “racialized hierarchies” based on “dominant European beauty standards.”

Kamala: Do you know what these words mean?

Walz: Not really. But I don’t think you really have to understand the exact words because they all mean the same thing: America is racist and needs to be overthrown. Did you see I went hunting?

Kamala: Is the gun supposed to be pointing at your chest?

Walz: Oh. Maybe that is why I could not pull the trigger. But how about my snappy camouflage jacket?

Kamala: You seemed to have that on the right way around.

Walz: Buttons to right of them. Buttons to left of them. Buttons in the front of them. That’s how I remember.

Kamala: What will you say if they confront you with this Lozenski video?

Walz: I’ll just tell them that as a boy I rode my bike with my friends until the streetlights came on.

Kamala: That works?

Walz: What are they going to say, I was not riding my bike?

Kamala: Tell them you are for joy.

Walz: What does that actually mean?

Kamala: It means you are for joy.

Walz: Oh, I get it now. 

Kamala: I’m still worried about that Lozenski video getting in the hands of Trump. I fear it may be a gift to Republicans. 

Walz: You remember what they say about Greeks bearing gifts.

Kamala: What?

Walz: Never look a gift horse in the mouth.